Posts tagged night

As should be blatently obvious to everyone operating on GMT, I always seem to submit my posts at about one in the morning, or possibly earlier if Im feeling paticularly adevnturous or lucid. I’d like to think this is because I am at my most enlightened. Really, its just because I waste my entire bleedin’ day.

I spend my time on pointless games, pointless books or, worst of all, “think”. My technique of “thinking” involves jumping backwards and forwards around my room, generally throwing something about at the same time. This weird ritual, for some weird reason I’d love a psychologist to explain to me someday, allows me to descend in to whatever mental fantasy I like. And I do men “descend; I merge into these brief little constructions that can center around films, television shows, stories or computer games I’ve created in my head, future professions I see myself in, paths in life I’ve not taken, etc. etc. On the plus side, I maintain a ridculously vivid and surreal imagination (I once heard some one say on the subject of Avatar, “how does James Cameron come up with this stuff?” I briefly wondered if they were joking.) On the downside, its ruined my life.

Its not uncommon for me to spend hours of every day in these bouts of “thinking”. Time can seem to race past as I jump around in my reverie. What is more, its painfully addictive. I look up at the clock and think “just five more minutes of thinking and I’ll be done.” Which, as you can guess, is never the case. I have never spoken to anyone else who’s done this - its not exactly an easy subject to broach - but many people, mostly writers I suspect, would confess to having done something similiar. As a child. I feel like I’m playing a constant game of ‘the floor is made of lava’.

Well, this never bodes well for my academic work. Had I enough hours where I had absolutely nothing to do, essays might eventually work themselves out. But “thinking” always offers me something to do, so in between my other wasteful activities, I can imagine myself as the subject of the current novel I’m reading.

And the assignment just sits there. Boding.

Which leads me to why I write mostly late at night. It seems to be only in this perod, where I’m too exhausted to jump about, too mentally active to sleep. Here is when I generally write out my thoughts or ideas, but they rarely come to much. Its also when I do a fair number of my essays, hence the title of this post; I’ve just learnt an essay I haven’t done over the break may well have to be in for tomorrow. See above. But hell, I’m damn sure I’m not the first one in history to be late with an essay, and I generally get through everything eventually. Given that I’ve written all of this out in my current state shows I’m perfectly capable of reeling off a couple of thousand words.

I just wish I could do it at two in the afternoon.